Funny Chicks not Slutty Chicks Untitled Document
 
Funny not Slutty logo
NavBar

 

Excerpt from SCENE FIVE of november dawn's Sunshine for a Midnight Weary


(GOLDEN ROD saunters forward slightly perturbed. She
speaks to the audience. )
GOLDEN ROD:
Speaking of sex, brothers
I want to know...
Is white coochie contagious
Brother?
Cause you sure nough run after it
Like its something you gotta have
That itching you have been waiting
400 years to scratch
That your degrees afford you to buy
That last trophy on your
mantelpiece
That says you’ve arrived
Is it worth
The lynches and tarrings
And beatings and scarrings
And whippings and beatings
Brother I want to know
Is white coochie contagious?
Is it easy like a walk in the park
Not the challenges of
we sisters dark
Pushing and pulling
Urging you to strive
When we wear you out
Does it keep you alive?
To you, is it American
As apple pie?
Is it the stuff for which
Our forefathers died?
Was white coochie there
When you were shackled and chained?
Did it tend to your wounds
And heal your pains?
Did it keep you well fed
When they left you to rot?
When for it you were hung
Did it tell the lynchers to stop?
Forgive me questioning
Your actions outrageous
But brother please tell me
Is white coochie
contagious?

(GOLDEN ROD looks at the audience expecting a
response. Once she gets it, she nods and returns to her
stance. PURPLE HAZE passes her giving her an intense
stare. She then addresses the audience.)
PURPLE HAZE:
Well I must be contagious
Cause your man sure does chase after me like...
How do you say it?
Like that itch waiting
to be scratched?
I’ve seen the way you treat them
First, you are an independent woman
And you swear that is your jam
When the song blasts in the club
But then when you spend too much
Gettin’ your weave tightened
So you can look like me
You begin to wine to your boy
About paying the light bill
Call me what you want to black girl
But at least I am consistent
Maybe you should step up your game
You say me making him dinner
And having it ready when he comes home
Makes me submissive
But you women are supposed to be so
Saved, sanctified and holy ghost filled
Didn’t you read about submission
In your Bible?
You say pleasing my man in every way
Makes me easy
I say it is just me showing my
gratitude for him being a man
You jump through hoops to get him
Spending hours in the beauty parlor
And black women I must give you
Your props on your patience
But the moment you get him in
Your nest
You begin to wear out your welcome
At KFC, Churches and Popeyes
And here I am paying for a body
That you’re giving away to the
Dominos pizza delivery boy
Fiending for that cheesy bread
You asked the question
If it was contagious
And the answer is no
I ain’t no damn disease

But your brother keeps knocking
On my door
So I must be doing something right

(PURPLE HAZE shrugs as the rest of the casts reacts to
her. RED HOT comes to the front of the stage to address
the audience.)
RED HOT:
When did I stop becoming a woman?
The apple of your eye
It used to be
That my drive and courage
Was a turn on to you
That thing that made you proud
To be my man
Now it is too much for you?
You want it easy
So you jump the fence
And leave me with questions many
I look the same
Act the same
‘cept the night shift leaves
My eyes a little dark
My hands are not as soft
When I rub your back
But I am willin’
Still willin’
To do those things
I did that brought you here
I remember a time when
There weren’t enough hours
In each day
We wanted more time
More minutes
More seconds
Just to be together
It seems that now you can’t
Stand the sight of me no more
She’s had it easy
Never a worry
Has been planted
In her pretty little head
Me?
I have a forest of issues
In my struggle
It’s hard to find
The time or the reason
To be frilly
My hair’s done gone back
Because of my labor and sweat
And it don’t swing no more
When I turn my head
I thought that you
wanted a backbone
Someone to lean upon
So she can twist by
Without a concern
So she can spend
Money that her daddy sends
To go to the beauty parlor
For treatments and whatnot
I can’t be your princess right now!
Cause I am too busy being your shero
But character don’t seem to count
To no man no more
The fact that I never
Allowed us to lapse on our rent

And when you came home
You were always fed in every way
You’re taking the life
out of me brother
I am too busy to be a shero
To be your princess
And while I have
earned much respect
I have lost your love
I pushed you
Yes I pushed you!
Cause I wanted you at your best
We can’t win
Just being so so
Brother
Even my own dreams I deferred
You’re taking the life
Out of me brother

I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe!
Brother please rescue us
We who have been true
Since time began
Brother please rescue us
And make us feel like women again
It’s hard to be frilly
When you have to play
mommy and daddy
Woman and man
You’re draining the
life out of us brother
And we can’t breathe
(RED HOT reaches to the audience over the orchestra
section. EMERALD VISION walks about the stage
looking around, turning to face the audience like a
newfound friend.)
EMERALD VISION:
Breathe.
(Breathes)
Breath.
(Breathes again.)
Life.
Life?
I am life at its best

Live and direct
Most complex
God’s best
A shining example
Of His creativity
A masterpiece ever present in me
Chocolate
Tan
Butter pecan
Midnight black
Almost blue
Damn near white
And yella too
I am she who rose with the dawn
To feed the earth
And carry it on my back
Sista with her souls afire
Placed in darkness
But claw myself out every
Time
Dynamic
Dramatic
Climatic
And speaking of climax
I got passion
Coming out my fingertips
Can’t you see it?

It is in my eyes
In my walk
In my talk
That’s why my neck rolls
White girl
Cause when I speak
The passion

Can’t contain itself
And my body can’t help
But to move along with itself
Now try to imitate that
I am shero
I am warrior
I am a beacon of beauty
For which there is no equal
A light that is uncontainable
My big lips
My big teeth
My savage smile
Is bright enough
To guide any lost boy home
Now chew on that for a spell
My big butt
My curves
Are rhythmic enough to inspire
A symphony to create a sonata
Just to accompany me as I walk

My proportions are greater
Thighs meatier
Giving you something to hold on to
To brace yourself
Cause when I speak
I will surely floor you
I mean knock you off the wall even
So hold on tightly
To these hips brother
Cause I want to
converse with you brother
And take you on a ride
I said a ride brother!
An adventure even
Like a scavenger hunt
You can spend forever and day
Plus two more
Trying to unearth the jewels I possess
And you will still
leave some behind
Such as how does
One who was worked like a mule
Beat like a dog
Through generations
And generations
Still have an unction
To stay so sassy?

True.
True, I say brother
But I got many oohs and ahhhs
To draw out before my time is up
So I remain a marvel
That thing which
can not be fathomed
Born of the dark and daughter of the light
Mother to all that is life
This TKO has been brought
to you by the
Neck rolling
Finger wagging
World rocking
Soul shocking
Essence of a sista
Life at its best
(BUTTER BEAN BABY approaches center stage
chuckling. She dodges around EMERALD VISION.)
BUTTER BEAN BABY:
I am not even gonna touch that one
.
..Wait, wait, wait. Yes I am.
Cause see, I am sick and tired of
You sistas
Walking around like you got
A crown on your head

You forget that we came from royalty too
Over there, we were somebody too
But now we’re here
struggling just like you
My sista
Mother of society
And I’ll give you that one
Everybody knows that the garden of
Eden wasn’t in no stinking England
But you know what?
You ain’t the only one
With the world on your back
I carry it to
So don’t go lookin’ at me
Like you do Sally Sue
When I walk down the street
With your man
Shit you know he is in good hands
Cause you know we can cook
And we sure nough got the rhythm
Cause at salsa night
We would dance side by side
Givin’ each other high fives
But now I got Tyrone on my arm
You want to roll your eyes
Sista to sista?
We really are sistas

And I don’t want to come at you
Any old kind of way
Cause I know you got the weight
Of the world resting on your shoulders
But shit...
I wanted to let you know that
I am carrying some of it too
Maybe it would be a little lighter
For us both if we carried it together
Like sisters.
(BUTTER BEAN BABY approaches RED HOT at the
edge of the stage. She places her hand on her shoulders.)
BUTTER BEAN BABY:
Like sisters.
(RED HOT delivers a faint smile and reaches her hand up
to BUTTER BEAN BABY who pulls her up. They walk
upstage arm in arm.)
DIM THE LIGHTS.

 

 


Copyright 2008 Southern Jewish Princess Media
www.funnynotslutty.com | www.southernjewishprincess.com

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________