Hello and welcome to our August edition of Funny not Slutty. I'm pleased to announce that we have an inerview with esteemed standup and comedy talent Etta May featured this month. Etta May said she thinks the site is great and she wanted to share insight about her industry. She even complimented that I "have my shit pretty much together."

I'd also like to announce that though we're continuing with special monthly featured stories, we will now add new content to the site almost every day. So check back often to see newly posted articles, videos and funny links.

-Jacki Schklar, FnS Publisher

Far from Wonderland:
MyFace Book
by Alice Jankowski

Alice Jankowski has been a moonlighting stand-up comedian for the last eight years. By day, she's a mild-mannered coupon writer for a major department store, but little do they know of her true identity. During her two weeks of vacation, she can seen in clubs across the country. She's also appeared on Girls Behaving Badly on the Oxygen Network, Comcast Comedy On Demand and recently on LOL at ajc.com. Visit Alice's Page

Due to my encroaching deadline, I'm attempting to write a column as I recover from vein surgery, so I've concocted a lovely mixture of painkillers, muscle relaxers and a double shot of espresso. So, this will either be some of my best work or downright, drizzly shits. Either way, I can guarantee that I will have a much better time writing this than you will reading it. Time to focus. Snore.
Ok we're back.
Recently, I've ventured away from my seedy roots of MySpace into the realm of the starch, white-bread Republicans of Facebook. Why, you ask, would such a cutting edge liberal such as myself stoop so low as to join a culture where you can't pimp your page?

Because, I'm never one to miss a party. And eventually curiosity killed the cat and I caved. Alliteration is awesome when you're wasted.
Wait, I was just notified on MySpace that Shelley in short shorts wants to be my friend - I haven't had a friend request in a while let's check her out. What? She wants me to play with her new pink iPhone? What's that supposed to mean? Is that what the kids these days call cunnilingus? Does she think I'm gay? I need to get the airbrushed, naked pinup girl off my homepage; I must be giving mixed signals.

So I plunged head first into Facebook. Seemed kind of intrusive at first. Verify your email address, verify your cellphone, give us your full name. I draw the line at height and weight. Well, mainly just weight. Taking it to my grave.
Luckily, they didn't go there, so I was off on my newest adventure to waste valuable time that could be better spent doing anything else. At first, it's like Sesame Street's Guy Smiley "Here is Your Life" reconnecting with friends from high school, college, even grade school. But then, after a couple messages or wall-to-walls, you realize why you lost touch with this person in the first place. Or, after becoming their friend and getting to see their three kids in the Mercedes with happy husband in tow, you realize you need to get your cleavage back on MySpace and find you a husband. Besides, what is a poke anyway?

Just like MySpace, the so-called friend requests start to dwindle. You begin to get desperate. Messages become a mere memory. You begin to accept friends that resemble friends, that post profile pictures of their dog. Or worse yet Simpsonized pictures of themselves. And in the end, you wind up like me, stopping what you're doing to see if there is more to Shelley than her pink iPhone..

Lessons from ETTA MAY

What’s the best way to describe Etta May? “Minnie Pearl with a migraine.” To put it simply, when Etta May takes the stage, she is the reigning Queen of Southern Sass.

CLICK PLAY BUTTON to hear the ETTA MAY FnS audio interview:

Etta May is a headline comic on CMT’s “CMT Comedy Stage” which is the second highest rated show in CMT history. The success of the Comedy Stage franchise led to the production of the Southern Fried Chicks Comedy Tour special as the first comedy concert series for the national cable network. Additionally, Etta May appeared on “KARAOKE-DOKEY” where she lent her unique perspective as a guest judge on the show where four contestants compete in a battle for the best impersonation of country great, Shania Twain. She was also the subject and first female comic ever on the biography show, “Comedy Club.” She joins the elite comedy company of Ron White, Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy, who are also featured in this series. Etta May is a regular on the syndicated Bob & Tom radio show and XM Radio’s comedy channels.

Be an Etta head: www.ettamay.com
Southern Fried Chicks : http://www.southernfriedchicks.net/

Southern Fried Chicks: Sizzle Cut
 

Susan Alexander is in the semi-finals of the Friars Club: So You Think You Can Roast? contest which on August 19th she roasted George Takei from Star Trek and  Heroes fame,  for Round Two of the semi-finals.   The grand prize of the contest is to roast the Today show's Matt Lauer at the Friars Club annual event in New York City.  Please click here to view video and vote for Susan,  http://www.friarsroast.com/roasts/susan-alexander-roast-of-george-takei/ .

 
Cool Funny Asian American Chicks RICE RICE BABY (Kate Rigg)

http://www.youtube.com/user/slantyeyedmama

THE GIFT
(or The Great Penis Theft of ‘Aught-Eight)
By Terese Ramin

The oldest of eight children, Terese Ramin started telling stories to her younger brothers and sisters after everyone went to bed - a course of action that prompted much late night giggling from the peanut gallery and a lot of "Go to sleep!" hollering up the stairs by her parents. Now that her own children are grown she tells stories to cats, dogs and wandering teenagers on MySpace as well as friends, neighbors and her computer. Her husband of nearly thirty years has threatened to divorce her if she ever stops writing. She is the author of 10 novels, a novella, and the editor (and author) of a charitable collaboration.  Her latest reissue, ACCOMPANYING ALICE is available via eHarlequin.com.  She's a Witchy Chick, and can be found blogging regularly at witchychicks.blogspot.com.

The scream summoned Sheriff Janice Thinksalot out of a hypersensitive meeting of the Brokenoggin Falls Tourism Council’s We Don’t Want Any Division.  Used to the abrupt interruptions and means of transport—though not liking it any better now than she had when scream summonsing of her began some three centuries or so previously—she arrived at her destination grumpy and I-wish-to-hell-I-could-do-anything-about-this morose but ready to proceed.

Gloomily she poised her pen over her notepad.  “Where did you say your husband was when his penis was stolen, Mrs. Buzdug?”
CLICK TO CONTINUE

The Making Of 1-900-FAG-HAGS
by Sara McGowan

I produced, co-wrote, acted in 1-900-FAG-HAGS.  My long time friend, and fellow hag, Nissa Botthoff co-wrote, directed and styled it.  Never before on any project did I have as much fun as making 1-900-FAG-HAGS. Pre Production was just as much a comedy as the actual shooting.  Nissa and I did the shopping for wardrobe.  We searched the cheesiest, and trampiest stores in NYC and let me tell you there are plenty.  And like all productions we did the classic buy and return.  The funniest store for me was Wet Seal, and if you haven’t been in there for a while it’s a good thing, and if you have, let your pimp buy you your clothes. We were trying to find out the return policy with a sales woman, so to disguise our true motives Nissa told the sales lady that she was giving me a make over. So we would be buying a lot but may have to return some items, because you know makeover people can be so fussy.  The best part was that the saleswoman was like “oh yeah I understand she does need to ho it up a bit!”  She then proceeded to pick out gold pleather short shorts.  The audition process hit a point of absurdity when we were explaining to the over 65, Park Avenue Society gals who were auditioning for the OLD-HAG part, what an OLD-HAG was exactly.  And let me tell you some didn’t get it.  At one point when all my references had failed (Will & Grace, the pool boy from the first season of the Golden Girls, Elton John) I described to an eighty year old woman in pearls and a blazer that her gay would be like her pet dog.  The SUPR HAG footage could have been its own movie and I may need to write her another short.  All in all I had so much fun and was so proud and thankful for everybody’s contribution. 

Sara McGowan (Producer, Writer, Actor) is a graduate of University of the Arts.  Sara is the creator of The Fun Dip Variety Hour.  She has just started the production side of Fun Dip this past year with the first project, 1-900-FAG-HAGS.  Sara has performed sketch and improv in all the major comedy venues in New York City and Los Angeles including: Magnet Theater, Second City LA, IO West, and Comedy Central.  She has also shared the stage with some Saturday Night Live, Best Week Ever, and MAD TV folks.  Her Film & TV credits include:  Sex & The City, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Hitch, School of Rock, and Lifetime Television to name a few. 
Check Out www.fundipcomedy.com

How to Live and Eat like a Southern Jewish Princess
Teaser clip

Scene 2 from the pilot episode of our comedy animation series. Special thanks to our amazing production and animation team for their hard work.

Southern Jewish Princess Teaser Clip